Last weekend there was the wedding of the daughter of Rani, our home help. She completed her bachelor’s degree last year and has married a young man who also grew up like her in the local area. So they have known each other for years. But through western eyes not really what you’d say is a so-called ‘love marriage’. They have got to know one another from a sort of distance. He thought she was nice, and she didn’t really see in him anything she didn’t like. He seemed to be prepared through the years to wait until she had finished studying, but when the decision had to be made a few months ago whether they were going to tie the knot, her preference was really to go on with her studies. But finally they decided to get married. I find that it’s all a bit of a puzzle trying to work it all out, but there you are. When it came to the wedding, everyone, including the happy couple, was pleased.

The festivities got off to a start with the Bengalese version of a kind of stag party/hen night called the Gaer Holud (literally: yellow on skin). This took place in separate houses: the bride in her house and the groom in his. We went to the bride’s, about 10 minutes walk from the hospital. The bride and her sisters sat themselves down, about 2 hours later than announced in the invitation, on a raised dais, and were dabbed with kurkuma by each guest. This is a yellow powder used a lot as a seasoning which they mixed with oil. Each guest also gave a spoonful of food and a sip of water. There was also food, music and a general feeling of excitement and good fun. As guests it was also impossible to avoid getting dabbed yellow ourselves….

Despite a good shower my feet were still pretty yellow the next day…

The bride receiving a sweet morsel....

The marriage ceremony itself took place on the Friday.

Because they are a Christian couple, the marriage took place in church.

The couple with the bride’s 2 sisters, her father, her brother in law, the minister and a niece. What a contrast between the brother in law’s T-shirt and the beautiful wedding saris.

No celebration is complete without a meal. It’s about being able to tell the story later about how many people came and what you treated them to. Because we knew both the bride’s parents (our home help Rani) and the parents of the groom (his mother works in our prenatal clinic), we were treated to a lovely rice dinner on Friday and Saturday. It’s a bit like mass-production: you eat and then leave so that the next group can sit down.

And not just a small amount of rice…

Of course the couple are loaded with presents....

In between I was also busy working, and so next time I’ll write something about that.